S3 121: The Key to Your Own Prison
Stumbling and Forgiveness [45:38]
Episode Length: 45:38
Published Date: Thu, 13 Jun 2019 01:00:00 -0700
Session 3
About this episode:
Marty Solomon and Brent Billings discuss the many teachings of Matthew 18, including some parables and rabbinic insights from Jesus.
The Queen You Thought You Knew by Rabbi David Fohrman
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant — Reed Dent, Campus Christian Fellowship
Notes
*Note: The following notes are handwritten by me, Adam, and I reserve the right to be wrong.
BEMA Episode 121: The Key to Your Own Prison - Study Notes
Title & Source Summary
Episode: 121 - The Key to Your Own Prison
Hosts: Marty Solomon and Brent Billings
Focus: Matthew 18 (entire chapter)
This episode provides an ambitious journey through the entirety of Matthew 18, exploring Jesus’s teachings on humility, dealing with sin, forgiveness, and the parable of the unforgiving servant. The hosts examine these teachings through the lens of Jewish rabbinic methods, cultural context, and the PaRDeS method of interpretation. The episode culminates in a profound exploration of the parable of the unforgiving servant, revealing how unforgiveness creates a self-imposed prison from which we hold the key to our own release.
Key Takeaways
- True greatness in the Kingdom of God comes through humility and childlike faith, not through positional authority or worldview superiority
- Jesus taught using concrete, visible examples from his immediate surroundings (such as millstones in Capernaum) rather than abstract concepts
- The concept of “eternal fire” (aionios) is qualitative rather than quantitative, describing the nature and quality of judgment rather than merely its duration
- Matthew’s version of the lost sheep parable emphasizes God’s nature as one who finds the lost, particularly focusing on outsiders (mamzers), aligning with Matthew’s overall agenda
- The Matthew 18 conflict resolution process prioritizes keeping the circle of involvement as small as possible, not just following a rigid formula
- Forgiveness must exceed the reach of evil - Jesus commands forgiveness “70 times 7,” reversing Lamech’s declaration of unlimited vengeance
- The unforgiving servant holds the key to his own prison; we imprison ourselves through our unwillingness to forgive others
Main Concepts & Theories
Childlike Humility and Kingdom Greatness
The episode opens with Jesus’s teaching about becoming like children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Rather than an abstract teaching, Marty envisions a more interactive scenario where Jesus actually engages with a child. The disciples’ question about “who is the greatest” reflects the diversity of worldviews within Jesus’s havurah (fellowship group) and represents a universal human tendency to elevate our own perspectives above others. This pattern continues today in sophisticated forms through social media and public discourse, where arguments about worldview are really arguments about personal greatness.
Rabbinic Teaching Method and Visual Context
Jesus exemplifies the rabbinic principle of never teaching about anything you cannot point to. In Capernaum, a town known for producing millstones from dark basalt rock, Jesus uses the immediately visible example of millstones to illustrate the severity of causing others to stumble. These millstones, exported throughout the ancient world (found as far as Laodicea in Turkey, approximately 500-600 miles away), would have been a powerful and concrete image for his audience. The “large millstone” mentioned would be comparable to a very large pickup truck tire - certainly sufficient to ensure drowning if tied around one’s neck.
Aionios: Eternal as Quality, Not Quantity
The Greek word aionios, typically translated as “eternal,” is a qualitative term rather than a quantitative one. When Jesus speaks of “eternal fire” or “eternal life,” he is describing the nature and quality of these realities, not merely their temporal duration. This fire is made of God’s eternal substance - it has always been and always will be. The episode draws a parallel with Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 3:10-15, where fire tests the quality of our work: gold, silver, and precious stones are refined by fire, while wood, hay, and straw are consumed. The fire reveals what is truly lasting versus what is temporary, what is made of eternal quality versus what is not.
The Parable of the Lost Sheep: Two Versions, Two Emphases
Matthew’s version (Matthew 18:12-14) and Luke’s version (Luke 15:3-7) of the lost sheep parable have significant differences:
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Luke’s version: Emphasizes the celebration of a sinner who repents. The shepherd throws a party (likely serving lamb) to celebrate finding the lost sheep, illustrating that heaven rejoices over one sinner who repents more than over ninety-nine righteous persons who don’t need repentance.
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Matthew’s version: Emphasizes that the shepherd is happy about finding the one sheep - celebrating God’s nature as one who loves to find lost things. The concluding statement, “Your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish,” aligns with Matthew’s consistent agenda throughout his gospel: highlighting God’s concern for the mamzer (outcasts/outsiders).
The remez (hint) for these passages likely points to Ezekiel 34 (for Luke’s version) and possibly Jeremiah or Zechariah passages about shepherds (for Matthew’s version).
Conflict Resolution: Keep the Circle Small
Matthew 18:15-17 presents Jesus’s teaching on resolving conflict within the community. While many use this as a strict formula for dealing with conflict, the broader principle is equally important: keep the circle of involvement as small as possible. The progression (one-on-one, then with one or two others, then the church) demonstrates escalation only when necessary. This principle stands in stark contrast to modern tendencies to broadcast conflicts publicly, especially through social media.
Notably, Jesus instructs that those who refuse to listen should be treated “as you would a pagan or tax collector” - and throughout his ministry, Jesus has consistently taught his followers to love, dine with, and welcome such people. This is not a call to harsh excommunication but rather continued love and pursuit.
Binding and Loosing in Context
The phrase “whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven” appears in an interesting context here - within the discussion of personal conflict resolution. Unlike its appearance after Peter’s confession, here Jesus applies binding and loosing to the interpersonal realm, empowering his followers to resolve conflicts and make decisions about relationships with divine authority backing their reconciliation efforts.
Forgiveness: 70 Times 7
Peter’s question about forgiving “up to seven times” likely seemed generous, as Jewish oral tradition (found in the Mishnah) suggested forgiving up to three times, after which one was exempt from further forgiveness. Three represents community, so forgiving three times would restore community. Peter, perhaps thinking he was being especially righteous, suggests seven (representing completion).
Jesus’s response - “not seven times, but seventy times seven” - directly references Genesis 4:23-24, where Lamech, from Cain’s lineage, declares that if Cain is avenged seven times, then Lamech should be avenged seventy times seven. Lamech represents the culmination of evil becoming a family legacy. Jesus essentially tells Peter: “You must out-forgive evil. There is no end to forgiveness. If Lamech can be avenged seventy times seven, that’s how much you must forgive.”
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant: The Key to Your Own Prison
The parable (Matthew 18:23-35) tells of a servant who owes his king 10,000 bags of gold (equivalent to approximately three lifetimes of wages - an impossible debt). When the king orders him, his wife, his children, and all possessions sold to repay the debt, the servant begs for patience, promising to repay everything (clearly impossible). Moved by compassion, the king cancels the entire debt.
This same servant then finds a fellow servant who owes him 100 silver coins (about three months’ wages) and violently demands repayment, choking him and throwing him in prison. When the king hears of this, he reinstates the original debt and hands the unforgiving servant over to jailers “to be tortured until he should pay back all he owed.”
P’shat (Simple) Observations:
- The first debt is impossibly large; selling everything wouldn’t come close to repaying it
- The servant’s promise to “pay back everything” is clearly a lie or delusion
- The second debt is comparatively tiny (three months vs. three lifetimes)
- The first servant left the presence of a compassionate king completely unchanged
- The tragedy is projecting an unchanged heart onto others
Remez (Hint) Connections:
- The phrase “you wicked servant” appears elsewhere in Scripture
- The 10,000 talents connect to the Book of Esther, where Haman arranges payment of 10,000 talents to Xerxes for the Jews
- Esther is fundamentally a story about forgiveness - Esther (descendant of Benjamin) saving descendants of Judah, echoing the Joseph narrative
- The Joseph story’s central theme is forgiveness, providing the perfect remez for Jesus’s teaching
Drash (Application) - The Greek Pronoun Insight:
The most profound insight comes from examining the Greek text of verse 34: “In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.”
The word “pay back” is actually the Greek word for release, forgive, cancel, or repay. The pronoun structure in Greek suggests that the second “he” might refer to the fellow servant (servant B), not the original servant (servant A). This means the master could be saying: “I will imprison you until you forgive/release the debt that the other servant owes you.”
If this interpretation is correct, the unforgiving servant is thrown into prison and given the key at the same time. He has the ability to release himself from prison by choosing to forgive. The prison he finds himself in is a prison of his own making - created by his unwillingness to forgive. When he chooses to forgive the small debt owed to him, he will find himself forgiven of the massive debt he owes. But if he refuses to forgive, he remains imprisoned.
This reading perfectly aligns with Jesus’s conclusion in verse 35: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Examples & Applications
Modern “Who is the Greatest” Debates
The disciples’ arguments about who is greatest mirror contemporary debates in campus ministries, churches, and especially social media. Young adults often passionately argue for their worldviews, believing their perspective is obviously correct. While this is part of the maturation process, we don’t outgrow this tendency - we simply become more sophisticated in how we assert our greatness. Social media posts, theological debates, and political arguments often function as loud declarations of “I am the greatest” dressed up in intellectual or spiritual language.
Keeping Conflict Circles Small vs. Social Media Blasting
Jesus’s instruction to resolve conflicts with progressively larger circles stands in stark contrast to modern behavior, particularly on social media. Instead of going directly to someone with whom we have a conflict, we often post about it publicly, involving hundreds or thousands of people who have no stake in the resolution. Following Jesus’s principle would mean having difficult conversations privately, seeking help from trusted individuals only when necessary, and involving larger groups only as a last resort.
The Impossibility of Repaying Our Debt
The servant’s promise to repay 10,000 bags of gold (three lifetimes of wages) is clearly impossible, yet the king responds with compassion rather than logic. This illustrates the nature of our debt to God - we cannot possibly repay what we owe through our own efforts or good behavior. The king doesn’t give more time to repay; he cancels the debt entirely. Our salvation is based on God’s compassion, not on our capacity to somehow balance the scales.
The Tragedy of Leaving Unchanged
The most tragic element of the parable is that the first servant experienced genuine compassion and complete debt forgiveness, yet left the king’s presence completely unchanged. He encountered mercy but didn’t internalize it, didn’t allow it to transform him, and couldn’t extend to others what had been extended to him. This raises the question for contemporary believers: Do we truly internalize the forgiveness we’ve received, or do we merely acknowledge it intellectually while remaining unchanged in our treatment of others?
Forgiving to Unlock Our Own Prison
Many people find themselves imprisoned by bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness. They may believe they’re holding others accountable or protecting themselves from further hurt, but in reality, they’re creating their own prison. The Greek reading of the parable suggests that we hold the key to this prison - we can release ourselves at any time by choosing to forgive. The debt others owe us (like three months’ wages) is infinitesimally small compared to what we’ve been forgiven (three lifetimes’ wages). When we refuse to forgive, we refuse our own freedom.
Potential Areas for Further Exploration
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Deep dive into PaRDeS method: Study the four levels of biblical interpretation (Peshat, Remez, Drash, Sod) and practice applying them to other passages
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Comprehensive study of Ezekiel 34: Explore the “shepherds of Israel” passage and its connections to Jesus’s sheep parables
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The Book of Esther and forgiveness: Read “The Queen You Thought You Knew” by Rabbi David Fohrman to understand the forgiveness themes in Esther and their connection to the Joseph narrative
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Binding and loosing in Jewish context: Research what these terms meant in rabbinic Judaism and how they relate to authority and decision-making
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Greek word study on aionios: Investigate how this term is used throughout the New Testament and in the Septuagint to better understand “eternal” realities
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The fire that tests (1 Corinthians 3): Explore Paul’s teaching about building with different materials and how this relates to judgment and rewards
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Lamech’s declaration in Genesis 4: Study the progression of sin through Cain’s lineage and how Jesus reverses this trajectory
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Hell in Jewish thought: Read “Love Wins” by Rob Bell and “Erasing Hell” by Francis Chan to understand different perspectives on hell, heaven, and eternal judgment
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The mamzer theme in Matthew: Trace Matthew’s emphasis on outsiders, illegitimate children, and the marginalized throughout his gospel
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Archaeological study of Capernaum: Research the ruins of Capernaum, its basalt millstone industry, and other historical context for Jesus’s Galilean ministry
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Sermon by Reed Dent: Listen to the referenced sermon on the unforgiving servant from Truman State to gain deeper insights into the Greek pronoun issue
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Jewish oral tradition on forgiveness: Study the Mishnah’s teaching about forgiving three times and how this relates to Jesus’s teaching
Comprehension Questions
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How does Jesus’s use of the millstone illustration in Capernaum demonstrate the rabbinic principle of teaching about things you can point to, and why is this teaching method effective?
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Explain the difference between the qualitative meaning of aionios (eternal) and the common quantitative understanding. How does this difference affect our interpretation of “eternal fire”?
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Compare and contrast Matthew’s and Luke’s versions of the lost sheep parable. What different emphases do they have, and how does Matthew’s version align with his overall gospel agenda?
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What is the broader principle behind Jesus’s teaching on conflict resolution in Matthew 18:15-17, beyond just following the steps as a formula?
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Explain the significance of Jesus’s command to forgive “seventy times seven” in relation to Lamech’s declaration in Genesis 4. What does this teach us about the nature and extent of forgiveness?
Personalized Summary
Matthew 18 presents a comprehensive teaching on Kingdom values that stand in stark contrast to worldly thinking. Rather than seeking greatness through position or asserting our worldview’s superiority, we’re called to childlike humility. Rather than causing others to stumble, we’re to remove anything from our own lives that hinders our walk with God - not literally cutting off body parts, but ruthlessly eliminating whatever keeps us from experiencing abundant Kingdom life.
When conflicts arise, we’re to handle them with wisdom, keeping involvement as small as possible while still seeking genuine resolution. We’re to treat even those who refuse reconciliation the way Jesus treated outcasts - with love, invitation, and continued pursuit. Our forgiveness must be unlimited, exceeding the reach of evil itself, because we’ve been forgiven an impossible debt that we could never repay.
The parable of the unforgiving servant reveals a profound truth: unforgiveness creates a self-imposed prison, and we hold the key. The debt others owe us is minuscule compared to what we’ve been forgiven. When we refuse to forgive, we refuse our own freedom. But when we choose to release others from their debts to us - whether those debts are real wrongs or simply unmet expectations - we unlock our own prison door and step into the freedom that comes from living in light of the compassion we’ve received.
The tragedy is not that we might fail to perfectly follow these teachings, but that we might experience God’s compassion and leave His presence unchanged, unable to extend to others what has been so lavishly given to us. The call is to internalize the forgiveness we’ve received so deeply that it transforms how we view and treat everyone around us, especially those who have wronged us.
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