212: Character Study — Jacob, Part 1

BEMA Episode Link: 212: Character Study — Jacob, Part 1
Episode Length: 53:48
Published Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2021 01:00:00 -0700
Session 6
About this episode:

Marty Solomon and Brent Billings take a deeper look at the character of Jacob and share some things they’ve learned since the previous episodes on Jacob from 2017.

Discussion Video for BEMA 212

Genesis: A Parsha Companion by Rabbi David Fohrman

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Transcript for BEMA 212

Notes

*Note: The following notes are handwritten by me, Adam, and I reserve the right to be wrong.

BEMA Episode 212: Character Study - Jacob, Part 1

Title & Source Summary

Episode: 212 - Character Study: Jacob, Part 1 Hosts: Marty Solomon and Brent Billings Focus: Genesis 25-28, examining the character of Jacob through a new lens

This episode provides a fresh perspective on Jacob’s character, revisiting earlier BEMA discussions from 2017 with new insights primarily drawn from Rabbi David Fohrman’s work in “Genesis: A Parsha Companion.” The hosts explore Jacob’s story not as a simple tale of deception, but as a complex family drama involving identity struggles, parental favoritism, and divine faithfulness. The episode challenges traditional interpretations of Jacob as merely a deceiver, instead revealing him as someone struggling to find acceptance and identity within a dysfunctional family system.

Key Takeaways

Jacob’s story is best understood as a family drama involving dysfunction, favoritism, and identity struggles rather than simple moral failure
Rebekah likely never shared God’s prophetic word about the twins with Isaac, creating a foundational family secret
The naming of the children reveals parental dynamics: both parents named Esau together, but only Isaac named Jacob (suggesting Rebekah rejected this name)
Jacob and Esau represent different personality types: Esau is a “doer” and hunter, while Jacob is more contemplative and artistic - neither is more or less masculine
The goatskin deception may not have been intended as deception at all, but rather as confidence-building props for Jacob that ironically ended up working
Rebekah’s intention was likely to help Jacob demonstrate his worth to Isaac, not to deceive him
Jacob’s deceptive response (“I am Esau”) reveals he was not ready to be comfortable in his own skin
God’s response to Jacob at Bethel is significant for what it does NOT say: God never approves Jacob’s actions, but promises to remain with him despite them
The story parallels the Prodigal Son, with Esau as the elder brother who keeps trying to do everything right
God blesses us even in the midst of our deceit and failure, though this does not mean He approves of how we got there

Main Concepts & Theories

The Prophetic Secret

Rebekah receives a divine word that “the older will serve the younger” (Genesis 25:23), but there is no textual evidence she ever shares this with Isaac. This foundational secret creates a dynamic where Rebekah operates with information Isaac does not have, potentially explaining her later actions and her special connection with Jacob.

The Naming Dynamics

The text uses plural (“they named him Esau”) for the first twin, but switches to singular masculine (“he named him Jacob”) for the second. This grammatical shift suggests that while both parents agreed on Esau’s name, only Isaac named Jacob, with Rebekah potentially rejecting this name and its implications. The name “Jacob” (Ya’akov) means “heel-grabber” or “deceiver,” while “Esau” and “Edom” are straightforward descriptive names. This reveals Isaac’s inability to understand his second son.

Personality Types, Not Gender Issues

The text presents Esau as a “doer” - active, physical, a hunter and man of action. Jacob is “content to stay at home among the tents” - more contemplative, perhaps artistic or feeling-oriented. This is not about masculinity or femininity, but about different personality types. The dysfunction arises when Isaac clearly favors and understands Esau’s personality while struggling to connect with or value Jacob’s different way of being.

The True Nature of Rebekah’s Plan

Traditional interpretation assumes Rebekah orchestrated a deceptive plot. However, several textual clues suggest otherwise:

Jacob’s concern is not “we are tricking him” but “I would APPEAR to be tricking him” (Genesis 27:12)
The goatskin ruse is absurdly unlikely to work - so unlikely that a 12-year-old can recognize it
Rebekah’s anger at the end (“why should I lose both of you”) and her statement about “what you did to him” seems inconsistent if she planned the whole thing
The props (goatskins, Esau’s clothes) make more sense as confidence-boosters for an insecure son than as serious disguise elements

Fohrman’s interpretation: Rebekah wanted Jacob to prepare the meal Isaac requested and present it to his father, proving he too could be a “doer.” The goatskins and clothes were meant to help Jacob feel more confident, not to actually fool Isaac. She expected that by the time of the blessing, Isaac would realize it was Jacob who had prepared the meal and would give Jacob his own blessing (not Esau’s). However, Jacob was not ready - he panicked when Isaac asked “Who is it?” and fell back on his learned pattern of deception.

Jacob’s Learned Coping Mechanism

The birthright incident (Genesis 25:29-34) reveals Jacob has learned to survive through shrewdness. As someone who has never measured up in his father’s eyes, he has developed alternative strategies for “getting things done.” When pressured in the moment with Isaac, he falls back on this familiar pattern of deception - it has become his knee-jerk response, his coping mechanism for a lifetime of feeling inadequate.

Divine Orchestration Without Divine Approval

Genesis 28 shows God appearing to Jacob at Bethel, but the content of God’s message is significant for what it does NOT say:

God never says “you did the right thing”
God never says “I orchestrated these events”
God DOES say “I am with you,” “I will watch over you,” and “I will not leave you”

The rabbis connect this moment to Psalm 32: “Blessed is the one whose iniquity is accounted for. Blessed is the Israeli in whom there is no deceit.” Jacob is full of deceit and literally running from the consequences, yet God shows up and blesses him. This teaches that God’s faithfulness does not equal His approval of our methods. God remains with us even when we arrive at destinations through our own failures.

The Prodigal Son Pattern

Esau functions as the elder brother in a Prodigal Son dynamic. He is the doer who keeps trying to do everything right. When he discovers his Canaanite wives displease his parents, he immediately tries to fix it by marrying into Abraham’s family line (through Ishmael). Despite his best efforts, he watches his parents show special attention to Jacob. Meanwhile, Jacob - who “doesn’t have it pulled together” - receives special treatment and blessing. This is not to justify Esau’s later hatred, but to understand the human dynamics at play.

Consequences and the Egyptian Slavery

The hosts connect this story to God’s earlier word to Abraham that his descendants would become slaves in Egypt. Abraham’s own moment of failure to fully trust God (the Hagar incident) set in motion consequences that would affect his descendants. Jacob’s story is part of living out those consequences - the promise remains, but the path includes suffering and struggle that need not have been part of the story.

Examples & Applications

Family Dynamics and Favoritism

Modern families often struggle with similar dynamics where parents connect better with certain children’s personalities. A father who values sports and physical activity may struggle to appreciate a son who prefers reading and art. This does not make either parent or child “wrong,” but unaddressed favoritism creates wounds that can last generations.

Identity and Self-Worth

Jacob’s struggle to be “comfortable in his own skin” reflects the universal human experience of seeking parental approval and acceptance. When children grow up feeling they are not enough, they often develop compensating behaviors - some become people-pleasers, others become achievers, still others (like Jacob) may become manipulators. These patterns, formed in childhood, become automatic responses in adulthood.

Well-Intentioned Enabling

Rebekah’s actions demonstrate how parents can have good intentions but execute them poorly. By trying to help Jacob prove himself, she actually prevented him from developing genuine confidence. She cooked the meal he was supposed to cook, dressed him in clothes that weren’t his own, and gave him props to hide behind. Her over-functioning prevented his growth while trying to facilitate it.

Divine Faithfulness Despite Human Failure

God’s response to Jacob at Bethel models how God relates to His people throughout Scripture. He does not wait for us to get it right before He shows up. He does not withhold His presence because we have failed. However, His presence does not mean He approves of our methods or that we will avoid consequences. This is the tension of grace - God remains faithful while we work through the consequences of our choices.

The Cost of Family Secrets

Rebekah’s decision to keep God’s prophetic word to herself created a foundational dysfunction in the family. Information asymmetry in families creates situations where people operate from different understandings of reality. If Isaac had known God’s word about the twins, might he have parented differently? Family secrets, even when kept with good intentions, often create more problems than they solve.

Potential Areas for Further Exploration

Parallels between the Akedah and Genesis 27 - The hosts note similarities in language and structure between the binding of Isaac and the blessing scene. What thematic connections exist between these narratives?
Rebekah’s character development - How does Rebekah compare to Sarah and later to Rachel and Leah? What patterns emerge in how the matriarchs of Genesis navigate patriarchal structures?
The theology of naming in Genesis - Throughout Genesis, naming carries tremendous significance. How do names shape identity and destiny? What is the significance of name changes (Abram to Abraham, Jacob to Israel)?
Esau’s perspective - What can be learned from reading the narrative primarily from Esau’s viewpoint? How might this change our understanding of “election” and God’s choosing?
The role of prophecy in Genesis - How do prophetic words function throughout Genesis? When are they shared, when are they kept secret, and what are the consequences?
Psychological/therapeutic reading of Scripture - How might modern understanding of family systems theory, attachment theory, or developmental psychology illuminate biblical narratives?
The relationship between blessing and birthright - What is the theological and practical difference between these two concepts in ancient Near Eastern culture?
Women’s agency in Genesis narratives - How do Rebekah and other women in Genesis exercise agency within patriarchal constraints? What strategies do they employ?
The connection to Psalm 32 - How do the rabbis develop the connection between Jacob’s story and the psalm about blessed forgiveness? What hermeneutical methods do they use?
Jacob’s journey toward transformation (Genesis 29-35) - Part 2 will explore Jacob’s further development, including his time with Laban, his wrestling with God, and his transformation into Israel.

Comprehension Questions

How does Rebekah’s prophetic word in Genesis 25:23 potentially shape her actions throughout the narrative, and why might she have chosen not to share this information with Isaac?

The prophetic word reveals that “the older will serve the younger,” giving Rebekah knowledge about God’s intentions that Isaac lacks. This creates an information asymmetry that might explain her advocacy for Jacob and her efforts to secure his blessing. She may have kept it secret because: (a) Isaac might not have believed her, (b) it might have created conflict earlier, (c) she may have felt called to “help” the prophecy along rather than trusting God’s timing, or (d) the cultural context made it difficult for a woman’s prophetic word to be received by her husband.
Explain Rabbi Fohrman’s reinterpretation of the goatskin deception scene. How does this reading change our understanding of Rebekah’s intentions and Jacob’s actions?

Fohrman argues the goatskins and Esau’s clothes were never meant to actually deceive Isaac. Instead, they were confidence-boosting props to help an insecure Jacob feel bold enough to present his father with a meal and prove he too could be a “doer.” Rebekah’s plan was for Isaac to realize it was Jacob who prepared the meal and give him an appropriate blessing. However, when Isaac asked “Who is it?”, Jacob panicked and fell back on his learned pattern of deception, saying “I am Esau.” This shifts the narrative from premeditated deception by Rebekah to an unintended outcome caused by Jacob’s insecurity and habitual coping mechanisms.
What does the episode reveal about how personality differences and parental favoritism affected the family dynamics between Isaac, Rebekah, Esau, and Jacob?

Isaac connected with Esau’s “doer” personality - the active hunter and man of action - while struggling to understand Jacob’s more contemplative, home-oriented nature. This was not about masculinity but about personality types. The text explicitly states Isaac loved Esau while Rebekah loved Jacob, revealing problematic favoritism. Esau’s names (Esau, Edom) were straightforward and descriptive, suggesting Isaac understood him. Jacob’s name (heel-grabber/deceiver) suggested Isaac never truly understood his second son. This created a dynamic where Jacob felt he never measured up, Esau felt he was the favored son yet watched his parents give special attention to Jacob, and Rebekah tried to compensate for Isaac’s lack of appreciation for Jacob.
How does God’s response to Jacob at Bethel (Genesis 28) demonstrate both divine faithfulness and divine restraint from approving Jacob’s methods?

God appears to Jacob and reaffirms the Abrahamic promises, assuring Jacob that He will be with him, watch over him, and not leave him. However, God never says “you did the right thing,” never claims to have orchestrated the deceptive events, and never approves of how Jacob obtained the blessing. God is faithful to His promise despite Jacob’s failures, but His presence does not equal approval. This teaches that God works with us where we are while not endorsing our destructive behaviors. Jacob will still face consequences (20 years of exile, being deceived by Laban, family struggles), but God remains committed to the covenant promise.
In what ways does the Jacob narrative parallel the Prodigal Son story, and what insights does this connection provide?

Esau functions as the elder brother who continuously tries to do everything right - he is the doer, the one who works hard, who even tries to fix his marriage choices when he learns they displeased his parents. Yet he watches his parents show special treatment to Jacob, the younger brother who “doesn’t have it pulled together” and who makes destructive choices. Like the elder brother in Jesus’ parable, Esau is faithful in his own way but feels overlooked. This parallel highlights that the issue is not about deserving or earning blessing, but about grace, transformation, and God’s surprising ways of working. It also humanizes Esau, helping readers understand his frustration even while not justifying his later hatred of Jacob.

Personal Summary

This episode transformed my understanding of Jacob from a simple “deceiver” to a complex human being struggling with identity, acceptance, and belonging. The key insight is that this is not primarily a morality tale about deception, but a family drama about dysfunction, favoritism, and the formation of coping mechanisms.

Jacob grew up feeling he never measured up to his father’s expectations. Isaac understood and valued Esau’s “doer” personality while failing to appreciate Jacob’s different temperament. This created a wound in Jacob that led him to develop shrewd, manipulative strategies for getting ahead - these became his automatic responses in moments of stress.

Rebekah, holding a prophetic secret, tried to help Jacob gain his father’s acceptance but over-functioned in ways that prevented genuine growth. Her plan was not deception but demonstration - she wanted Jacob to show he too could be a doer. When Jacob panicked and claimed to be Esau, everything unraveled. Yet even this disastrous moment contains hints of divine providence - the goatskins worked (miraculous), and Jacob barely escaped before Esau returned.

Most significantly, God’s appearance at Bethel reveals the heart of the Gospel: God shows up and remains faithful even when we are full of deceit and running from consequences. His presence does not mean approval, but it does mean He will not abandon us. Jacob is “blessed” while still being the one “in whom there is deceit” - a powerful picture of grace.

The episode challenges me to recognize similar patterns in modern families and in my own life: personality differences creating disconnection, well-intentioned enabling that prevents growth, coping mechanisms formed in childhood that become automatic in adulthood, and the profound truth that God meets us in our dysfunction rather than waiting for us to get it right first. Jacob’s journey has only begun, and God’s work of transformation will be a long process - just as it is for all of us.

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S6 212: Character Study — Jacob, Part 1

Family Dysfunction [53:48]