BEMA Episode Link: 245: Spiritual Abuse — Liturgy for Repentance and Healing
Episode Length: 23:00
Published Date: Thu, 11 Nov 2021 01:00:00 -0800
Session 6
About this episode:

Marty Solomon and Brent Billings are joined by Elle Grover Fricks to provide a liturgical space for repentance and healing.

This episode is adapted from “Prayers of the Faithful” from the Archdiocese of Chicago.

Discussion Video for BEMA 245

Rape, Assault & Incest National Network

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Transcript for BEMA 245

Notes

*Note: The following notes are handwritten by me, Adam, and I reserve the right to be wrong.

BEMA 245: Spiritual Abuse - Liturgy for Repentance and Healing - Study Notes

Title & Source Summary

Episode: BEMA 245 - Spiritual Abuse: Liturgy for Repentance and Healing Hosts: Marty Solomon, Brent Billings, with Elle Focus: A liturgical space for prayer, lament, repentance, and healing regarding domestic violence and spiritual abuse

This groundbreaking episode creates a contemplative liturgical space for the church to engage in corporate repentance and healing regarding domestic violence and spiritual abuse. Unlike typical BEMA episodes, this fourth installment in the spiritual abuse series offers adapted prayers and intercessions designed to be used repeatedly as a tool for personal and communal reflection, confession, and healing.

Key Takeaways

  • The church must create intentional spaces for lament, confession, and listening regarding domestic violence and spiritual abuse
  • Survivors of domestic violence need to know their suffering is not their fault, not a punishment from God, and not a cross to bear
  • Help is available through resources like RAINN (Rape, Assault and Incest National Network) and the National Domestic Violence Hotline
  • The church has often been complicit through silence, misinterpretation of Scripture, and failure to support survivors
  • True repentance requires acknowledgment from perpetrators, systems of justice, law enforcement, and the church community
  • Children who witness or experience domestic violence need protection, understanding that violence is never an expression of love
  • The church must move from being slow to believe and act to being a survivor’s last hope
  • Scripture includes stories of violence against women to give us courage to tell our stories and help one another
  • This liturgy is designed to be used repeatedly as part of ongoing personal and corporate spiritual practice

Main Concepts & Theories

Creating Liturgical Space

The episode introduces the concept of creating intentional space for God’s presence, drawing back to Session 1 of BEMA. This involves:

  • Prayerful spaces for lament and reflection
  • Space for confession and listening (to God, ourselves, and others’ stories)
  • Space for intercession and corporate repentance
  • Contemplative pauses for meditation and reflection

The liturgical format provides structure for processing trauma and pursuing healing in a way that honors both the gravity of abuse and the hope of restoration.

The Church’s Call to Repentance

The liturgy identifies multiple areas requiring corporate repentance:

Addiction to Comfort and Power: The church has often prioritized institutional comfort and convenience over justice for survivors, choosing to protect reputations rather than protect the vulnerable.

Misuse of Scripture: Biblical texts have been interpreted in ways that justify or encourage violence, particularly against women. The presence of violence narratives in Scripture should prompt honest storytelling, not silence.

Slow to Believe and Act: The church has demonstrated doubt toward survivors, lack of compassion, paralysis in action, and withholding of hope when survivors need support most.

Dictating Rather than Supporting: Church communities have often told survivors what to do without walking in their shoes, failing to respect their decisions and agency.

Systems of Justice and Accountability

The prayers address systemic failures across multiple institutions:

Law Enforcement and Judicial System: Recognition that it is rare for survivors to see justice, requiring repentance from police officers, attorneys, judges, and lawmakers who have failed to protect victims.

Religious Leaders: Those in spiritual authority must be held accountable for how they counsel survivors and address perpetrators, ensuring their guidance reflects God’s character of justice.

Power Structures: All systems that have been trusted with authority must be filled with compassion and kept from abusive power dynamics.

The Nature of Domestic Violence

The liturgy provides comprehensive understanding of abuse in its many forms:

Types of Abuse: Emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, economic, spiritual, and psychological violence are all recognized as legitimate forms of abuse.

Dynamics of Control: Perpetrators crave power and control while professing love for their victims, creating confusion and trapping survivors in cycles of abuse.

Impact on Children: Children who witness violence are victimized themselves, requiring protection, love, and nurture while understanding that violence is never an expression of love.

Theological Truths for Survivors

The prayers establish crucial theological foundations:

Not God’s Punishment: Suffering from abuse is explicitly not a cross to bear or punishment from God. This directly counters harmful theology that has kept survivors trapped.

Not the Survivor’s Fault: Abuse is never something deserved or earned by the victim. Responsibility rests entirely with the perpetrator.

God’s Character: God is good and safe, offering protective love, healing light, and deliverance from danger. God hears the cries of those being beaten and stands against violence.

Created for Fullness: Every person is created by God to enjoy the fullness of life, to be loved, and to flourish safely in God’s kingdom.

The Path to Healing

The liturgy outlines a comprehensive healing journey:

For Survivors:

  • Freedom from guilt and shame
  • Courage to seek help
  • Finding wisdom, affirmation, support, love, and shelter
  • Healing from wounds and transformation through God’s light
  • Clarity in confusion, deliverance from danger

For Perpetrators:

  • Recognition of abusive behavior
  • Fear of the Lord and love of God
  • Seeking immediate professional help
  • True repentance and cessation of violence
  • Learning a better way to live through surrender to God

For Witnesses and Church:

  • Becoming as compassionate as Jesus would be
  • Resisting judgment and offering support
  • Believing survivors and acting on their behalf
  • Affirming the gifts and personhood of women and girls
  • Working tirelessly for justice and the end of violence

Examples & Applications

Resources for Help

The episode provides concrete resources, emphasizing that help truly is available:

  • RAINN (Rape, Assault and Incest National Network) at rainn.org
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline

These resources demonstrate that prayer must be accompanied by practical pathways to safety and support.

Using This Liturgy in Practice

The hosts anticipate this episode will be used differently than typical BEMA content:

  • Listened to multiple times rather than once
  • Used as a routine practice for reflection and prayer
  • Engaged with during personal devotional time
  • Possibly adapted for corporate worship or small group settings

The liturgical format makes it accessible for repeated use without losing its power or relevance.

Global Context

The prayers acknowledge that domestic violence and abuse of women occurs across the globe:

  • Sexual harassment, molestation, and ritual abuse
  • Women kept in captivity
  • Atrocities of war targeting women and girls
  • Trafficking of women as domestic or sex workers

This global perspective prevents domesticating the issue as only a local problem and calls for comprehensive advocacy and action.

Church Community Response

Practical ways the church can respond based on these prayers:

  • Creating safe spaces for survivors to tell their stories
  • Providing tangible support (shelter, financial assistance, counseling referrals)
  • Holding perpetrators accountable rather than protecting them
  • Training leaders to respond appropriately to disclosures of abuse
  • Examining teaching and theology that may enable abuse
  • Becoming educated about the dynamics of domestic violence
  • Offering ongoing support rather than quick fixes

Potential Areas for Further Exploration

Biblical Narratives of Violence Against Women

The liturgy mentions that Scripture includes stories of violence against women. Study could examine:

  • The account of Tamar in 2 Samuel 13
  • Dinah’s violation in Genesis 34
  • The Levite’s concubine in Judges 19
  • How these stories function as testimony rather than prescription
  • Ways these narratives have been misused or ignored
  • What it means that God preserved these painful stories in Scripture
Theology of Power and Authority in the Church

Deeper exploration needed of:

  • How church leadership structures can enable abuse
  • The difference between godly authority and controlling behavior
  • Jesus’ model of servant leadership versus worldly power
  • Accountability structures that protect the vulnerable
  • The role of transparency and oversight in preventing abuse
Trauma-Informed Ministry

Further study on how churches can become trauma-informed:

  • Understanding the neurobiology of trauma
  • Creating physically and emotionally safe environments
  • Recognizing trauma responses in worship and teaching
  • Training in trauma-sensitive counseling and referral
  • Long-term support for survivors in their healing journey
Economic and Spiritual Abuse

Two categories of abuse mentioned in the liturgy that may be less understood:

  • How economic control traps survivors in abusive situations
  • What constitutes spiritual abuse (misuse of Scripture, invoking God’s authority to control)
  • The intersection of economic vulnerability and domestic violence
  • How churches can provide economic empowerment and support
Justice and the Judicial System

The liturgy calls for repentance from law enforcement and courts:

  • Why is it rare for survivors to see justice?
  • What reforms are needed in the legal system’s approach to domestic violence?
  • How can churches advocate for better laws and enforcement?
  • The role of restorative justice versus punitive justice in abuse cases
Children as Witnesses and Victims

The unique needs of children affected by domestic violence:

  • Long-term impacts of witnessing violence in the home
  • How to help children understand violence is never love
  • Protective services and their role
  • Supporting children’s healing alongside adult survivors
  • Breaking generational cycles of violence
Cross-Cultural Perspectives on Domestic Violence

Understanding how different cultures and contexts experience and address abuse:

  • Cultural factors that may increase vulnerability
  • How honor/shame cultures may impact disclosure and healing
  • Global movements working to end violence against women
  • Learning from international approaches to supporting survivors

Comprehension Questions

  1. According to the liturgy, what are the multiple forms that domestic violence can take, and why is it important for the church to have a “broad understanding” of family violence in all its forms?

  2. The prayers explicitly state several things that abuse is NOT (not the victim’s fault, not a punishment from God, not a cross to bear). Why are these theological clarifications crucial for survivors’ healing, and what harmful beliefs do they counter?

  3. What specific areas of repentance does the liturgy call for from the church community, and how has the church’s “addiction to comfort, convenience, and power” contributed to the problem of domestic violence?

  4. How does the liturgy address both survivors and perpetrators of abuse, and what does it say about the path to change for those who commit violence?

  5. The episode describes this liturgy as something listeners might “come back to and play more than once” and engage with “on a routine basis.” How does this liturgical approach to addressing spiritual abuse differ from simply teaching about the topic, and what makes repetition valuable in this context?

Summary

BEMA 245 represents a bold departure from typical podcast formats by creating a liturgical space for corporate prayer and repentance regarding domestic violence and spiritual abuse. This fourth episode in the spiritual abuse series acknowledges that addressing abuse requires more than teaching - it requires confession, lament, intercession, and healing.

The liturgy comprehensively addresses the reality of domestic violence in its many forms while establishing critical theological truths: survivors are not at fault, their suffering is not God’s punishment, and God’s character is good and safe. The prayers call for repentance from multiple parties - perpetrators, the church community, systems of justice, and anyone who has remained silent or complicit.

By providing concrete resources alongside prayer, the episode demonstrates that faith requires action. The liturgical format allows this episode to function as an ongoing tool for reflection and spiritual practice rather than a one-time listening experience. The church is challenged to move from being slow to believe and act to becoming a survivor’s last hope - offering tangible support, holding abusers accountable, and creating safe spaces for healing.

Ultimately, this liturgy invites the church to embody God’s kingdom where violence is banished, all people can love and be loved, and everyone flourishes safely in God’s abundant life. It reminds us that God created each person to enjoy fullness of life, and that working toward a world free from violence is part of our calling as Christ-followers.

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