BEMA Episode Link: 301: John — On Doubting and Locked Doors
Episode Length: 1:12:42
Published Date: Thu, 20 Oct 2022 01:00:00 -0700
Session 6
About this episode:

Brent Billings and Reed Dent discuss Thomas—a seemingly strange disciple—and question the nature of doubt and belief.

“The Seeing Heart” by Frederick Buechner — YouTube

“Frederick Buechner, Novelist With a Religious Slant, Dies at 96” by Robert D. McFadden — The New York Times

Wishful Thinking by Frederick Buechner

“St. Thomas Didymus” by Denise Levertov

The Stream & the Sapphire by Denise Levertov

Join the BEMA Slack

Notes

*Note: The following notes are handwritten by me, Adam, and I reserve the right to be wrong.

BEMA Episode 301: Study Notes - “On Doubting and Locked Doors”

Episode Overview

  • Hosts: Brent Billings and Reed Dent
  • Primary Scripture: John 20:19-31 (Thomas and the disciples)
  • Central Theme: The nature of doubt and belief in discipleship
  • Key Figure: Thomas (also called Didymus/The Twin)

Major Themes Explored

1. The Character of Thomas - “Unvarnished Honesty”
Thomas’s Previous Statements
  • John 11:16: “Let us also go that we may die with him” (regarding Lazarus)
  • John 14:5: “Lord, we don’t know where you are going. How can we know the way?”
  • John 20:25: “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands… I will not believe”
Character Analysis
  • Unvarnished speaker: Says what comes to his mind without filter
  • Skeptical tendency: Questions what others accept
  • Honest about limitations: Admits when he doesn’t understand
  • Possibly speaks for others: Voices what everyone else is thinking but won’t say
2. Two Types of Doubt and Belief
Cognitive vs. Lived Experience

COGNITIVE DOUBT (Head Doubt):

  • Intellectual skepticism or questioning
  • Can be a useful analytical tool
  • May not affect how one actually lives
  • Example: Thomas asking for physical proof

LIVED DOUBT (Gut/Stomach Doubt):

  • Deep existential uncertainty
  • Born from experience/trauma
  • Affects core behavior and trust
  • Example: The disciples hiding behind locked doors despite “believing”

COGNITIVE BELIEF:

  • Intellectual assent to propositions
  • “Golden ticket” faith - say the right things
  • May not change behavior
  • Example: Disciples being “glad” but still hiding

LIVED BELIEF:

  • Faith that transforms behavior and living
  • Deeper than intellectual understanding
  • Results in action and change
  • Goal: Moving from cognitive to lived belief
3. The Disciples’ Response vs. Thomas’s Response
The Other Disciples
  • Week 1: Hiding behind locked doors “for fear of Jewish leaders”
  • See Jesus, shown His hands and side, become “overjoyed”
  • Receive Holy Spirit, given commission
  • Week 2: Still hiding behind locked doors!
  • Paradox: Cognitive belief with lived doubt
Thomas
  • Week 1: Notably absent from the locked room (not hiding?)
  • Responds to others’ testimony with skepticism
  • Week 2: Present when Jesus appears again
  • Transformation: From cognitive doubt to lived belief
  • Response: “My Lord and my God” - complete confession
4. Jesus’s Response to Doubt
Jesus’s Approach to Thomas
  • No condemnation: Doesn’t scold or shame
  • Meets him where he is: Provides exactly what Thomas requested
  • Gentle invitation: “Put your finger here, see my hands”
  • After provision, then challenge: “Stop doubting and believe”
Pattern Similar to Woman Caught in Adultery
  1. Grace first: Meets need/provides what’s requested
  2. No condemnation: Doesn’t shame or reject
  3. Then direction: Challenges to move forward in faith
5. The Nature of Seeing and Believing
Different Levels of Seeing
  • Seeing facts: What Thomas had been doing
  • Seeing truth: What happened when he encountered the risen Christ
  • Buechner’s insight: Thomas moved from seeing facts about Jesus to seeing the truth of who Jesus is
Jesus’s Statement
  • “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29)
  • Not condemnation of Thomas, but recognition of different paths to faith

Key Questions for Reflection

  1. Personal Doubt Assessment:
    • Do I have cognitive doubt with lived belief?
    • Do I have cognitive belief with lived doubt?
    • What am I actually “hiding behind locked doors” about?
  2. Understanding Others:
    • How do I respond to people expressing doubt?
    • Can I distinguish between different types of doubt in others?
    • Do I create space for honest questions?
  3. Faith Development:
    • What would it look like to move from cognitive to lived belief?
    • Where do I need Jesus to “meet me where I am” like He did with Thomas?
    • What am I asking to “see” before I’ll believe?

Cultural and Historical Context

First Century Setting
  • Jewish leaders: Religious authorities post-crucifixion
  • Locked doors: Real physical danger for Jesus’s followers
  • Thomas as “Didymus”: Greek for “twin” - significance unclear
John’s Purpose (20:30-31)
  • Writing to encourage persecuted Christians
  • “These are written that you may believe/continue believing”
  • Thomas represents the church’s struggle with doubt amid persecution

Theological Insights

1. Doubt is Not the Enemy of Faith
  • Honest questioning can lead to deeper faith
  • Doubt can be a tool for analysis and understanding
  • The goal is not absence of questions but lived belief despite questions
2. God’s Grace Meets Us in Our Doubt
  • Jesus provides evidence when asked (hands, side, wounds)
  • Grace precedes behavioral change
  • Meeting people where they are vs. demanding blind faith
3. Faith as Relationship vs. Position
  • Buechner: “Believing in God” vs. “Believing God”
  • Position: intellectual assent (like believing world is round)
  • Relationship: transformative encounter (like believing house is on fire)
4. The Role of Community in Faith
  • Thomas needed the other disciples’ testimony
  • Isolated faith vs. communal faith development
  • Speaking doubts aloud in safe community

Notable Quotes and Insights

From the Episode
  • “Thomas is just saying what they’re not saying”
  • “We can have cognitive doubt and still have lived belief”
  • “The disciples can be in a place of… ‘yeah, we accept, we see, we’re glad’ and yet we’re not going out and doing”
From Buechner
  • “Believing in God is an intellectual position… Believing God is something else again”
  • “It affects who you are and what you do with your life like believing your house is on fire”
From the Poem by Denise Levertov
  • “Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief” (borrowed from Mark 9:24)
  • “What I felt was not scalding pain… but light”
  • “My question not answered, but given its part in a vast unfolding design”

Practical Applications

For Study Groups
  1. Honest Doubt Discussion: Create space for members to voice questions safely
  2. Belief Inventory: Examine areas of cognitive vs. lived belief
  3. Grace Practice: How do we respond to doubters like Jesus did?
For Personal Study
  1. Thomas Meditation: Reflect on his journey from doubt to confession
  2. Locked Door Inventory: What are you hiding from despite believing?
  3. Prayer Practice: “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief”
for Pastoral Care
  1. Normalize Doubt: Help people understand doubt as part of faith journey
  2. Meet People Where They Are: Provide evidence/answers when appropriate
  3. Focus on Lived Faith: Encourage movement from head to heart belief

Connection to Broader BEMA Themes

  • Historical Context: Understanding first-century persecution
  • Jewish Background: Thomas as disciple in Jewish religious setting
  • Deconstruction/Reconstruction: Moving from inherited beliefs to owned faith
  • Community: Role of disciples in faith development
  • Grace: God’s patient response to human questioning

Discussion Questions

  1. How does understanding the disciples’ continued hiding change your view of their “belief”?
  2. What might it mean that Thomas wasn’t hiding with the others initially?
  3. How do you distinguish between helpful doubt and harmful doubt in your own life?
  4. What “locked doors” do you find yourself behind despite your beliefs?
  5. How can faith communities better support people experiencing doubt?
  6. What would it look like to respond to doubters with Jesus’s approach?

These study notes are designed to facilitate deeper engagement with the themes of doubt, belief, and grace as explored in BEMA Episode 301, encouraging both intellectual understanding and practical application in faith communities.

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